


I Love You

by ForeverRed



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Ron Weasley Bashing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 23:33:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21627550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForeverRed/pseuds/ForeverRed
Summary: Hermione Granger is a workaholic with no social life outside of her new and blossoming relationship with Ron Weasley. He wants to go to the next stage of their relationship, but she isn't sure she wants to. And her gut feeling, may be right.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley
Kudos: 3





	I Love You

The sun was slowly setting, and with it came the bite of the changing weather that disrupted the previously unchanged heat of summer. Hermione tucked a stray curl behind her ear, a useless move as it quickly bounced back into place. She stared at the house looming before her, feeling her heartbeat quicken, and her palms beginning to sweat. She had been here a thousand times over the years, but tonight was different. She locked her car, fumbling briefly with the keys and wincing at the noise her car made.

Almost, as if in slow motion, she walked across the street to the front door. She could still remember the first time she came here, during winter break for school; she had taken a train, walked, and a bus to get here. Ron and Harry had been closer with each other, than they ever were with her. Despite the invitation to join over winter break, she didn’t really know if she would be accepted. Just before she had knocked, the door had swung open to reveal a grinning Molly Weasley and she found herself hugged in laughter and friendship.

Now though, they were out of school, it had been a couple of years. They still saw each other, but their busy work schedules rarely permitted them much time. It wasn’t until a few months ago when Hermione had run into Ron at the coffee shop near her work that she even realized that she was now working close to where his family lived. Their old friendship had resumed as if there had never been a day that had passed. And so, they had begun to spend quite a bit of time together, and without Harry there to distract, their mutual crushes had reemerged and blossomed.  
They had been dating now for a few months, and Hermione knew that Ron wanted to go to the next step. She wasn’t sure that she wanted to though. They had fooled around, toeing the line so to speak, but never crossing it. And those times when they had…hadn’t been…like what she had read in books or seen on TV. They were supposed to be fun, something like foreplay, but she had never enjoyed them. She had liked that Ron smiled and was happy but either she didn’t feel anything, or she was uncomfortable. And on a few of those occasions, there had been pain. Hermione didn’t know if that was normal or not, she knew that books and film were romanticized versions of sex. Hermione had never had any female friends, not close ones anyways, and she was hopelessly lost on this whole thing.

As an adult she had focused to hard on work, never making time for romance and friends. And while she wasn’t old, she also didn’t have any social skills to help push her forward in her personal life. So meeting Ron again seemed almost like fate. And as their relationship blossomed, she couldn’t help the secret fear in her mind. That this was her one and only chance. Sure, many looked at Hermione and admired what she had grown into. From gawkish child to a semi-attractive woman. She was fit, she had learned how to tame her wild hair, and she wore makeup that highlighted her best features. But despite it all, Hermione was a workaholic, she had a temper, and she was often too judgmental. Ron knew her, he had known her. And he still wanted to date her. It made sense for them to be together. And she would never admit it, but she had been so lonely. Ron had appeared at a time when she was feeling her lowest and it just made sense.

So why was she getting nerves coiling in her stomach as she raised a hand to knock on the door? She knew why she was here, neither her nor Ron had explicitly said what the plan was, but this was the first time she was coming over since they had become a couple. It was evening now, and Ron had been hinting at going the next step in their relationship. Perhaps everything would change after…it. Maybe it is just uncomfortable until…it…happened. And then she could be a regular woman, and a great girlfriend, who actually enjoyed the intimate things that came with dating someone.

The door swung open and there stood Ron, a smile wide on his freckled face. As he pulled her into a hug, she thought of how much he had changed too. Sports had slimmed him down and toned his muscles; the baby fat on his cheeks fell away to reveal a chiseled jawline. He was listed as one of the most handsome bachelors’s in a magazine somewhere, and one several online articles. He had always stated in interviews that he was focused on his sport, and his team, and he wanted to elevate them to highest possible success he could. And perhaps then he would look for love. He had told Hermione one night after they had gotten into an argument that he was sacrificing time that he should be practicing to take her out, and pointed out how ungrateful she had been. And Hermione at first had been offended, but later apologized after realizing her mistake. Football season was about to start and Ron was the star quarterback, if he messed up and cost his team a win, that was thousands to millions of dollars lost.

He pulled her inside, his hand tight on her wrist, as if he expected her to pull away, “How are you?”

“Good, I finally managed to figure out the – “ his expression was bored and she quickly ended what she had been saying. “How was practice?”

“Excellent as usual,” Ron smirked, pulling her through the kitchen.

She didn’t really remember making it to Ron’s bedroom. She knew that she greeted his parents, since Ron still lived with them, and she had flushed furiously in embarrassment knowing that they were home while her and Ron had plans. Ron had kept his hand on her wrist the entire time, bordering on painful. It was something that he had started doing recently. Like when they had gone on a date, and he had taken her into a store after dinner and when she had stated that she didn’t want anything, he had taken her wrist in his hand and squeezed just like this. He only released her when she had finally picked out a couple of things for him to purchase for her. This unnerving display of behavior had been explained away by him simply wanting to give her gifts, mementos of their time together. She had understood that, the necklace that she had chosen she wore nearly everyday now. Even when they couldn’t see each other.

The clicking of the door behind her brought her firmly back into the present. She was in Ron’s bedroom now; it was dark except for the thin light that came from outside and the glow from the TV. She was aware that Ron was behind her, that his hand was on her shoulder. Hermione needed to breathe, she needed to relax. If she was tense, that would make this whole thing more uncomfortable. She knew Ron had a temper, she had known it from when they were kids. It was one of his greatest flaws, and while it had been curbed back somewhat over the years, she had seen hints of it. When she had first told him no, when she missed a phone call.

As he turned her around and pressed his lips to hers, she wondered briefly in the back of her mind how she had ended up in a situation that she didn’t want to be part of. How had she become a woman who was afraid of her former best friend? Did she actually love him? She didn’t know. She wanted companionship, that was true. And Ron was one of the only people that had actually extended his hand towards her. She was so incredibly grateful to have something to do now on a Friday night. She had a reason to look at her phone, she had a reason to smile when he texted her the words, “I love you” and “You’re beautiful”. But was she with him because she actually loved him, or because she was lonely?

His hands removed her jacket, her bare shoulders catching a chill. His lips touching her neck, causing her to shiver. He never let her talk about the things she was interested in, the things he was interested in held nothing for her. Other than companionship, there was never anything that held up in terms of conversation. In the back of her head, she had known this from the moment that they had shared their first kiss. The relationship would end eventually, there was absolutely no solid ground for this relationship to be built on.

Something though unsettled her, as Ron continued to peel off her clothing and push her to the bed. In the past couple months, he had portrayed some possessive qualities. And as time went on, the previously slight negative behavior traits had become more apparent. Now Hermione felt a cold trickle of fear at the thought of trying to leave. She fell onto the bed, a cold sweat breaking out over her body.

There was nothing romantic about this, even with it being a gentle type of action. Not once had he asked Hermione if she wanted this, not once had he asked her if she was okay, not once had he paused to wonder why her eyes were tightly closed and her body was shaking. Tears burned the backs of her eyes, but she refused to show it. Even as his hands began to touch her in places that she hadn’t been touched before, she wouldn’t show him that this was affecting her in a negative light.

He moved her body further up on the bed, and Hermione had a brief, crazy thought. Of pushing him off the bed, shoving him so hard that he hit his head. She could run away then, she could end this relationship. But as soon as that thought crossed her mind, she pushed it away. It was ridiculous. She couldn’t hurt Ron, why would she hurt Ron?

And then there were no more thoughts, there was nothing as he climbed on top of her. Bare skin to bare skin. And then there was a fumbling, jerky movements, that Hermione wanted desperately to get away from. All of those singled down into one single movement, a thrust, and then there was pain. Hermione had thought she could barely breathe before, that she couldn’t draw enough air to say the words “Stop” or “No”. But no, that had been an inconvenience. Now, as agony ripped through her very core, she could not breathe. She could do nothing but be still and try, try to find someway to survive this. This pain, it wasn’t natural. It wasn’t, shouldn’t be possible. Tears flowed freely from her eyes, falling down her cheeks and into her ears. “I love you, I love you, I love you so much,” he whispered in her ear. Hermione’s eyes squeezed tighter, as if she could shut her mind. Shut the pain. What was she doing? This wasn’t love, this wasn’t right. None of this was.

Later, when Hermione tried to sleep, she would feel the phantom of that pain and hear Ron’s voice. “I love you.”

She wouldn’t be able to escape that nightmare for years.


End file.
